Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
