Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
