If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
