My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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