my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
