oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
