You just made me feel so damn special
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
