dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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