Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she told me i tasted like america
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
