Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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