ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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