Pregnant stripper...not hot.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize