i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
