This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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