You're so nebulous sometimes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
