About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
