isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
