I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
