i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
