i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please, let me fuck your mom
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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