The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
