We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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