He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
