North Korea, Best Korea!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
