Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
