He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
