it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
