loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Randomize
