These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
