i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
