There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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