Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
