i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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