my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
