Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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