I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
