he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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