And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
