forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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