Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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