Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
