oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
