physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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