I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm determined to sit on that face.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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