i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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