I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
