so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
