My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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