I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
