Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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