YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
