Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
