At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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