don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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