Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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