my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize