I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
