Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
