If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
